TESTIMONY

Dear friends, family, community, all as one. Today I stand before you to be baptized in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. What I read for you now, is the second version of my testimony. A complete redraft. My first testimony charted my life from birth, my teenage failures, my sinful self and then the awakening to him. But it was long, very long, and I included every finite detail of the experiences in my life which brought me shame, guilt and suffering – but also the interventions that saved my life. I felt I had to include such detail to justify the love that was placed on me by God, to make me worthy, to make others believe in my conviction.

You see, I was a pagan priest for many years. I performed rituals, long arduous rites, mass events, recruited others and joined organizations that promised answers. I took vast steps to implement what they wanted so that I may be blessed with love, so that I may be successful in my ventures and to prioritize my human experience. While I did not ever wade in the dark waters, I felt unworthy of Yahweh and instead made prayer for false Gods. While I can say no good came from these practices, the temptation to make council with the unseen drove me towards the light – for I had bared witness to beyond the veil, a different lens that allowed me to see what cannot be explain, and as I soon as silenced it all, a figure, a truth, an undeniable love, the one I had known since childhood, Yeshua, was all I could see. And I knew, without any doubt, that I was witnessing the one true God.

Christ Jesus did not require rites and rituals of me. He granted me comfort, understanding, grace and forgiveness. He saved my life as I stood before him when a terrorist attack would have otherwise claimed me. He encouraged me when I sat in his cathedral to remain faithful, to trust that I have always been loved and I will  always be loved. He brought witness to my eyes, in a moment of extreme peril, to his compassion and belief in me which melted away my unshakable pain. He pursued me because he paid for my sin for he is fully God. And he is resurrected.

I am here now because of Jesus. Who I am now, with my sin paid, with my heart full, I am a child of God with a full plate of armor. While it is known to you all that I fight an illness, a deeply dark illness – I am not afraid. I have seen all the proof of God’s glory. His son’s sacrifice cut through evil with the sword of spirit so that we may choose to sit with him for eternity. Who I am now is who he wanted me to be – a soldier of God’s will – and while I think I fought wickedness without him, none of us – no matter our disbeliefs – are ever more than a thought away from his grace.

I want to be baptized for I am ready to wear the seal of Jesus Christ upon my armor. To bear the truth that he died for our sins and was resurrected, granting us all a direct path to God, salvation and eternal life for those who believe. I pray for those who are yet to allow Jesus into their heart. I am thankful to God for opening the eyes of mine, for bringing me to this moment, I am thankful for you all for coming to bear witness to this testimony and to the sheer hope and glory of God. May his work continue, may no one take joy from you, and in his name, we pray, amen.